I have an embarrassing habit that pops up all too often: I misuse expressions and idioms. All. the. time, I tell you. For years I thought the expression “It’s a dog eat dog world” was “It’s a doggy dog world.” I thought “pushin’ up daisies” was “pushin’ up tulips” until a former co-worker of mine threw her head back laughing and said, “Well, maybe in Holland.”
Every time it happens, I feel like someone just told me I have broccoli in my teeth {or if you’re me, chocolate in my teeth}. While I’m always thankful to know, there’s no getting around a little embarrassment.
Yesterday I returned from a conference for bloggers/writers, an event ripe with possibilities for me to say crazy things and show my unpolished self off, broccoli-in-the-teeth and all. This conference was no exception. For example, I walked up to Ruth, a blogger I love and admire, and called her Robin. And then I tried to save face by chattering on about her hair {she does have killer hair, y’all}. But my mouth seemed to have a mind of its own and went on and on in such a way you would have thought I was a hair product peddler. She responded with total kindness, but I left that convo laughing at myself saying, “Yep Kristen, broccoli in your teeth.”
Here’s the straight up truth: I can’t shy away from people because I’m scared of looking a little fruity. In other words, I own the fact I forget people’s names. I get nervous and chatter on and on. I laugh at inappropriate times. It’s embarrassing but humbling and hardly the end of the world. And definitely not worth staying hidden away in a tight little corner, no matter how desperately that corner tries to woo me.
Most folks find self-depricating behavior endearing. I sure do. It cuts through plastic perfect and shows me your human. It shows me you’re not that different from me and confirms the truth we all fall short and need Jesus and each other.
And maybe need a little more chocolate in our teeth.
How do you fight the awkwardness of large gatherings and relax after embarrassing moments?
Teri Lynne Underwood says
October 29, 2012 at 11:11 amOh girl! I know!!! I’m with you with the crazy talk and inability to recall the right name at the right time. But you, my dear amazing friend, offer every one of us such grace … and knowing you is a gift.
Kristen says
October 29, 2012 at 11:14 amTeri Lynne, you are the best. Really and truly. Loved watching your warm, exuberant self shine this weekend. Thankful for you!
Amy says
October 29, 2012 at 12:23 pmThis is hilarious because we have this friend who is notorious for getting these things wrong. We call them “Jake-isms”. You’re right–it’s very endearing and you shouldn’t be embarrassed!
It was a pleasure to briefly meet you and hope our paths cross again!
Kristen says
October 29, 2012 at 1:00 pmThe pleasure was all mine, Amy. Grace and peace to you and yours!
Sharon says
October 29, 2012 at 12:28 pmThis totally made me laugh! Love it! My younger self struggled with this all the time! Being an introverted melancholy usually meant I’d go home beating myself up and promising myself I’d never open up my mouth again! Anyone who knows me knows that is almost impossible.
But with spiritual maturity and just plain ole’ getting old I have learned to laugh at myself. I have also learned when to speak up and when to keep silent….it helps a lot. Unfortunately it doesn’t mean I don’t say the wrong thing at the wrong time in the wrong way!! 🙂
Kristen says
October 29, 2012 at 1:01 pmOh yes, learning when and how to keep silent. Working on this, too!
Maureen says
October 29, 2012 at 12:42 pmI used to say there was a monkey in the wrench. Somehow I mixed up a monkey-wrench with throw a wrench in the works? I say these kind of things a lot, too. And my husband makes fun of me for saying them. A lot. I spend way too much time after gatherings kicking myself for all the goofy things I said. Regrets for my foolishness. Your perspective is healthy. Accept we all have foibles and not hide them in a corner (my tendency!). And I totally agree- more chocolate in the teeth – yes! though we should probably eat more broccoli instead…
Kristen says
October 29, 2012 at 1:04 pmYes, probably. 🙂
You are wonderful, Maureen. Thanks for sharing your own broccoli-in-the-teeth moments here! I’m grateful it ain’t just me. Grin. Have a wonderful week!
~Brenda says
October 29, 2012 at 1:15 pmFight it? Girl, I embrace it! Ha! Just come talk to me. We can smile a green broccoli smile at one another. I carry toothpicks wherever I go ….
Kristen says
October 29, 2012 at 1:18 pmHa! Ha! Ha! I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Becky K says
October 29, 2012 at 2:15 pmOh, girl, I hold ON to those embarrassing moments, terrible but true! I wish I could relax and let them go. Humility is a good thing, though, you’re right. And I afford myself no shortage of opportunities to practice it. I just wrote something about that, actually. I love knowing you are a little fruity. I believe I am, too – especially in large crowds. Not my favorite place to be! Do you recommend the Allume conference? I’ve been thinking about going, maybe next year if I feel the call…
Ruth Schwenk says
October 29, 2012 at 3:00 pmOh Kristen! This made me laugh. It didn’t bother me one bit that you called me Robin and it didn’t seem like you were chattering at all :). Love you girl!
p.s. Thank you for the “hair love” 🙂
Kristen says
October 29, 2012 at 6:37 pmThank you for your grace, Ruth! You are the awesome sauce, good hair and all. 🙂
Holley Gerth says
October 29, 2012 at 4:43 pmFriend! I’m so glad I got to see the broccoli in your teeth this weekend (well, I actually didn’t see any but hypothetically speaking) and all of beautiful YOU. I may have to invent a new word for how much I love you. For now let’s just say it’s A LOT. 🙂 #kristenwithdrawals
Donna says
October 29, 2012 at 7:35 pmOh how this post makes me feel so much better! Kristen do you remember when I introduced 2 people to you, thinking you were someone else? You were oh so gracious to me! {{thank you}} You know you’re in the right company when mis-introductions are so gently forgiven 🙂
Kristen says
October 29, 2012 at 9:41 pmHonestly Donna, your mis-introduction {love that word, BTW} made me feel good since obviously I did/do the same thing!
Lorretta says
October 29, 2012 at 9:34 pmThis is ME. You have read my mail and now you are pretending to be ME! I feel like this so often and I’m grateful for folks like you who ‘GET IT” and we just move on together! I hope to be that one chattering on endlessly about someone’s hair next year…look for me–I’ll be the one with broccoli in my teeth FO SHO!
Kat Lee says
October 29, 2012 at 10:02 pmYou are just precious. Feel free to mix my name up anytime. And maybe tea time next year?
Kristen says
October 30, 2012 at 9:48 amYes! Yes! Time flew by this year. Let’s arrange a time before hand and make it happen. Adore you, Kat!
Kat Lee says
October 29, 2012 at 10:03 pmAlso? Ruth was my roommate, I can totally vouch for her awesome hair. It’s like a superpower. It was never NOT awesome.
Lindsey van Niekerk says
October 30, 2012 at 12:55 amYou are great!
I know those seem like simply “little” words.
But I mean every one.
I appreciate you so much. Broccoli. Chocolate. Laughter. And random expressions and all.
We need a Kristen Strong in the world.
I am so glad I get to know you.
P.S. Thanks for the love over at Lisa-Jo’s. You rocked my socks off…my and my words-of-affirmation-as-a-love-language heart. Really….thank you!
Tara Ziegmont says
October 30, 2012 at 9:06 pmI think there are way worse things. 🙂 I’m sad to say we didn’t officially meet at Allume, but I think we sat at the same table once or twice. I hope you had a great weekend!
Logan@LifeforDessert says
October 31, 2012 at 5:55 amKristen,
I have those moments all the time! I call it “Carrying a watermelon.” You know that scene in Dirty Dancing where baby comes to the party and is trying to explain why she’s there…and all she can come up with to say is “I carried a watermelon!” Yeah….those moments. I do it enough that the phrase has become a verb. And I think for me…and honestly for anyone, when we give ourselves the grace to carry watermelons or push tulips….the real comes up from underneath the facade, and we find true connection. iBloom gave me the most meaningful little piece of artwork that says “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” Thank you for authentically sharing yourself….broccoli in your teeth and all. Hugs my new friend! – Logan
Crystal says
October 31, 2012 at 7:36 pmOh goodness – I am too awkward for my own good most of the time. I have these out of body experiences where I can hear myself talking and saying ridiculous things in an excited voice and wonder “why don’t you just STOP talking?”…and then I walk away wondering what just happened. It happened so many times at Allume. Thank you for sharing this 🙂 And it was so nice to meet you!
Amy Tilson says
November 1, 2012 at 10:26 amOh, Kathryn – I mean Kristen – you were such a treat to meet in person. You make it seem so un-silly to introduce yourself as the one that was wildly waved to on twitter. It that a thing that is even possible to happen (see, like this. Now.) I wish there’d been more time for silliness and the real getting to know. Another time for sure. Thank you for your grace-beauty words.
sonika says
November 1, 2012 at 7:05 pmRight with you, friend. When I reveal myself to be less than perfect, I like to remind myself that “unpolished” is the new “pretty” 🙂
Karin says
November 2, 2012 at 3:02 pmOh, huge sigh of relief! I have been so comfortable in my world and then I showed up at Allume… and all my awkward came out! I never noticed the broccoli in your teeth ~ probably because I was too busy wondering where all my nervous, babbling words were coming from. The second day I just prayed and asked God to shut my mouth as I entered “bla-bla-bla” territory!
Maybe the rule should be – “Enter only after checking awkward at the door.” (and with chocolate – or broccoli – in your teeth)
I loved meeting you in person, AF sister, and pray our paths cross again~
You are a blessing.
Shilo Tippett says
November 6, 2012 at 12:05 amThis is so funny! I used to think mashed potatoes were called Smashed potatoes! I was corrected by a waitress once and totally humilated because my Mom always called them smashed! We have to laugh about these things! Great post!