All I really need in life is faith, hope, love, and really good cake.
I got every single morsel of it wrapped up in a sunny yellow package last Saturday when my good friend Allison threw me a 40th birthday party. I might have squealed when I saw my name on a banner. I might have closed my eyes when I took the first bite of birthday cake heaven. I might have teared up at the whole fanfare of it all. Because while it’s lovely to have a party thrown in your honor, it’s even lovelier to know someone thinks you’re worth celebrating. And my Allie has a long history of celebrating those closest to her, including me.
Long before a book deal, long before Chasing Blue Skies, long before I did any kind of regular writing, Allison read some words of mine, looked me in the eye and said, “Kristen, you’ll be published one day. It’s not a matter of if, but when.”
At the time I probably rolled my eyes. But every so often, her words would waft through my thoughts, smelling good like warm lemon cake.
*****
You should know I’ve wanted cowboy boots this side of forever. But given I had a good number of tall, leather boots, I couldn’t justify the purchase. They don’t give cowboy boots away, ya know?
On the other hand, my husband wanted to buy them for me years ago. I kept putting him off saying I needed a good reason to spend that much on shoes. As we rehashed this again in the kitchen one day, he grinned and said,
“Fine. I’ll give you your good reason. When you get a book deal, we are buying you cowboy boots.”
I shrugged, tilted my head, and let one corner of my mouth come up in a smile.
Since then, I’ve been able to grin a little bigger. So on an unusually warm spring morning, my husband and I hopped inside his Dodge truck and set out for Boot Barn where I found these new friends:
I must admit, I fell passionately in love with them.
Driving away from the store, I propped my chin on my hand in the open window, one thought whirling around me more comfortably than the new Shyanne boots. Whenever discouragement in all this writing business would make my shoulders sink or my head drop in my hands, David’s arms were my safe harbor and his words an anchor of steady belief in me.
“When it happens, we’ll buy boots.”
He always said when, not if.
David and Allison – and several others – are my when people, those who said when you’re published, not if you’re published. But here’s the thing: their believing in my talent couldn’t guarantee a successful outcome. Regardless, I knew that whether or not a publisher ever believed my words deserved to be bound in a book, my when people did. When I thought about giving up, their words steered me forward. They believed I was a good writer and on the days I didn’t believe it myself, they were the fuel that kept me rolling along. That keep me rolling along.
Here’s the straight up truth: we all need when people in our lives. Because it’s our when people who show us what we will do. Their words and actions are the encouragement linking God’s heart to our own. They are His messengers helping make His plans known as they offer a truer reflection of ourselves in the process.
Whether parenting or teaching or creating or soldiering on in whatever venue, you need those who believe in you and your abilities. When you are in the trenches of a dream and running on pure faith, you need when people as motivation, too. They are the stepping stone between what you want to happen and what happens.
But if on this early summer morning you find your own harvest of when people looking mighty sparse, take heart. God’s heart is for you to have them, so your prayers regarding them hold a special place. But a word of caution: for someone to become your when person – to pray you through your secret and not-so-secret dreams – you’ll have to get a little brave and share those dreams first.
And as you’re considering all of this, pray for God to open your eyes to how you can be someone else’s when person. Everyone needs at least one.
Along with faith, hope, love, and maybe really good cake.
Do you have your own when people? If not, let me know so I can pray you find them, too.
I do actually have “when” people…but I struggle to be my own “when” person. I shrink inside and the little word “if” looms large in my mind and heart.
Oh me too, Melissa! I think it’s all the more important to have “when people” because most of us are hardest on ourselves.
xo
Oh happy day, Kristen!
And I’m glad you got your boots. Every girl needs a pair. Or 2!
Love your post here because you are so very right.
Thank you for reminding me to be thankful for mine. And thank you for reminding me that I need to be that for someone else.
Here’s to cowboy boots (clink, clink)!
Love you, Lori. xo
Did you notice how much “when” sounds like “win”? 🙂 I think that’s important :).
I call when people my cheerleaders; I have a few in my life and I NEED them to counter the negative voices I hear.
Such a sweet telling of your birthday, a special friend, and your biggest life cheerleader.
xo
When – win! Ooo that’s good! I need to consult you before every post so you can point these gems out and make me sound smarter than I am.
Love you to pieces, Robin. Thank you for being one of my cheerleaders. xoxo
Yay for boots, book deals, and mostly for “when” people. So glad that you are surrounded by such a great cloud of cheerleaders (intentional misquote). I’m pretty sure I have these folks around me, I’ve just never given them the occasion to offer a “when”. Not sure if that’s sad or reassuring. Anywho, big belated birthday to you, too! Cross country hugs to you, lady! 🙂
Amy! You are so dear, you know that?
And that’s the best intended misquote EVER.
Hugs right back to you, friend.
Please pray for my daughter to have these kind of good friends in her life. She is 17 & this has been a very tough 2 years of disappointment, anxiety, loss of friends, etc.
Oh that is such a tender age, isn’t it? And it’s hard on a mama heart to witness those trials. May God bring your daughter wise, good-hearted, and godly girls who are for her in every beautiful way. And may she develop the strongest of life-long friendships with them based on mutual love and respect.
Thank you for lifting your girl up today, Susan. Much love.
I have to admit that your post sat open and unread in my email for hours before I worked up the courage to read it. I just knew it was going to slay me a little. And it did. You see, I thought I had two of those When People…for 10 years. Then, they both left…telling me I was too much and that my friendship was no longer needed.
So your words here:
‘But if on this early summer morning you find your own harvest of when people looking mighty sparse, take heart. God’s heart is for you to have them, so your prayers regarding them hold a special place.’
Well, I pray with every fiber of my being that they are true.
I’m a When Person by nature – but don’t currently have the courage to risk the vulnerability necessary to find my own again.
Grateful for your hope that God desires When People for us all.
Laura, I’ve been there, too, and I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m praying now that the Lord brings just the right people to your path, those who speak life to you in dramatic ways like you’ve never experienced. And I pray you feel Christ’s presence inside you, giving you courage to do what can’t be done without Him.
So much love to you.
Hi Kristen,
So glad you have ‘When’ people in your life.
Can you pray for me to have some ‘When’ people too?
Thank you for writing…Your writing encourages me, challenges me at times, and helps me open my heart to God.
Blessings,
Linda
P.S. Love the boots!!!..
Absolutely, Linda. May our good God provide you with genuine folks who speak life into yours in the most heartfelt, real ways. And may you feel the ever-present love of Christ close to you always. Much love.
Kristen,
Woohoo! Congrats’ on getting your cowboy boots…you deserve them!! So happy for you! Sharing in your joy. Happy Belated 40th B-day!
((Hugs)),
Bev
I am in a weird state/phase/ stage of life so full of uncertainty and transitions that I have no “when” plans or dreams (or even know how to begin to identify them) and I think that makes me even more sad. And without any “when” dreams it’s hard to identify the “when” people in my life.
Karyn, I keep thinking about your comment and totally understand what you’re saying. In our years as a military family, there were seasons I had so much going on with the change and transition that my only “when” dreams were getting the house unpacked, finding a new dentist, and finding friends for myself and the kids. And that’s awesome! Sometimes our “when” dreams aren’t super exciting (most of mine sure aren’t), but it is no less important to have our “when” people for them, too.
All this to say I am praying for you, Karyn, that God gives you clarity on some of your own “when” dreams as well as the people who believe in your ability to make them happen. The fact that you were brave enough to share this here tells me you’re probably further along in the process than you think. (smile)
Much love to you, Karyn. And thank *you*. xo
Kristen, I love this so much. So awesome to read about your “when” people. I feel incredibly blessed that I have a couple in my life as well. Congrats on the upcoming book! And those boots. . . AMAZING!
Kristen,
Thank you for this story. You need to know you were used BY God FOR me posting this story – His reaffirmation to me that it’s not just “loved ones blowing smoke” when they ALL tell me I NEED TO WRITE…to be a writer. My mom is the most famous for “not if but when” and she really wants me to write a book before she’s called home lol. If anyone could just see who I’ve become and this parking lot desert season I’m in, I sincerely cannot imagine it ever coming true. However your post gives me hope that maybe God is speaking to me through them. Praying God continues to bless all you do and all you are, and asking for prayer for things to become clearer “to have the eye of my understanding enlightened so I may know the hope to which I’ve been called.” (Eph. 1:18) Thank you again and God bless
I need “when” people. I thought I had a dream of working in medical field helping patients. I did the schooling for MA (Medical Assistant) passed boards, etc. I landed a job & it was good in the beginning. Now 7 years later and it seems I’m only doing much patient care.
I want “when” people to tell me that I will be able to quit this job and find a new one. One where I feel “needed and useful”.
Blessings on your 40th birthday!
My husband is my biggest “when” person. I just found you through {in} courage. You’ve created a bright, happy, encouraging place here, Kristen! I will definitely be back to visit – and sincere congrats on your book deal!
Not sure how I ended up here, Kristen, but I’m glad I did. I’m encouraged by your journey and touched by the thought of having”when” people in our lives. I am so grateful that I can think of a dozen in mine . . . and the way they cheer me on. I’ve got my own pair of boots testifying to their support, too. Thanks again for sharing your heart and truth words today!
I’ve been my own “when” person for quite a while now. I would love to have these people in my life again. Like another writer, I had people who left because my life is too much stuff for them to see through to me.
Congratulations on your book, Kristen, I love that your hubby is so encouraging. Those boots will keep you walking into your future! Go for it!