This is a post based on an instagram story I gave concerning unfollows on social media. If you'd like to watch this porch chat on instagram, just visit the saved stories on my Instagram profile page and tap the circle titled "unfollows." Watch other #porchchatswithkristen on instagram, too.
So, I did something recently against my better judgement.
There is this gal I first met through writing circles whom I really like. I’ve met her in real life a couple of times, but she’s more acquaintance than friend, really. Regarding her family and business, she truly does a phenomenal job running her lane, and I’ve learned a lot from her.
For whatever reason, one day it occurred to me that I hadn’t seen this friend show up in my social media feed for a while. So, I did a “spot check” on instagram to see if she’d unfollowed me. And guess what? She had.
To state the obvious, yes–I shouldn’t have checked, I shouldn’t have checked, I SHOULD NOT HAVE CHECKED to see if she still followed me or not. But check I did, and for the next few days, I stewed in a swirl of questions about the whole shebang.
Why did she unfollow me?
What does she not like about me?
What do I need to change about myself?
What is wrong with me?
It spiraled into a terrible tornado of why’s, and I needed to get myself out of it pronto. That’s when I re-remembered a truth that helped me step out of the Crazyville cycle of questions while also taking the focus off my big, important self.
Each of us have limited bandwidth within our days, weeks, and lives, and each of us gets to be the boss of what we invest our time in. This undoubtedly includes who we get to see in our social media. As a result, if I have been unfollowed, that simply means I’m outside that person’s bandwidth.
Ultimately, my presence in that way is outside that person’s best interest.
That isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with me at all. It is to say that because of that limited bandwidth, then we must each give our attention and time to whom the Lord tells us is most important. And that might not include us.
Now, taking this in means we have to sometimes tell that sneaky, what-about-me pride to just have a seat. Stand down, pride. You and I will both be just fine. We must know it’s going to be okay if that person doesn’t follow us. We can still ask God to bless her as she moves forward in God’s best for her, and if that doesn’t include you or me, then that’s okay.
Rejection on any level is never fun, not in the least. But as my friend Salena says, rejection is sometimes God’s protection against what’s not in our best interest. And this certainly applies to our online and real-life endeavors of finding where and with whom we belong.
In short, how about you and I release ourselves from the pressure of putting time and energy into those people and places that aren’t in God’s plans for us? How about you and I bless those whose circles we don’t travel within as they move forward in God’s best for them? We can move on in freedom, and we can give others the freedom to move on, too.
Here’s to walking forward in that freedom, and knowing we belong where we are, as we are.