She looks plumb haggard, that mom in line ahead of me at Target. She has a one year old in the cart and a two year old whose ninja moving octopus arms grab everything. Mom pays for her loot and slowly but surely coaxes the two year old out of the aisle.
I prop my purse on the checkout counter and catch her eye as I pull out my wallet.
“I promise shopping does get much easier!”
I smile. She rolls her eyes.
“Not soon enough!” She answers.
I can’t blame her. Don’t we all think this on the hard days?
Still, with my boys freshly minted thirteen year olds, I think about how “not soon enough” sprints towards “way too soon.” Thirteen snuck up on me, yelled “Boo!” and laughed when I jumped. More defiant than ever, manhood peeks around the corner, and it’s only right I wave him on in.
I see it more clearly everyday, how my boys’ choices grow and stretch right alongside them. Consequences run farther and reach higher. I know this, so what have I missed telling and showing them? How well do I really love them?
My good friend Cheryl writes this to me,
“You do an awesome job of giving your children wings to fly off into their own world, and 1000′s of reasons to use those same wings to fly back home to Mama.”
I don’t know if this is really true, but I do know I’m a mess on my own and I can’t ask for His help too much.
A Prayer for Teenage Kids and Their Mama, Too
Dear Father,
I flat out need You more today than ever. I know I’ve said this before. But something about being in charge of teens – young men and women – feels mighty scary.
When a sense of urgency weighs heavy, remind me how You’ve helped me train my kids all along. Help me not focus on what I haven’t done but relax in what I have. Help me parent from Truth not fear, and may the eyes of my heart see Your perspective, promises, and patience.
Please help me remember they are becoming. Don’t let a spirit of discouragement settle in when I don’t see progress. Though I want to be clear about boundaries, may my responses to their poor choices be gracious. May my responses to their good choices be gracious.
If it ain’t broke, don’t let me fix it.
It seems so much of parenting older kids well is about being hands-off as much as hands-on. Give me wisdom on when my voice is needed or simply my ears. When my presence helps and when my presence hurts. Because sometimes parenting well means getting out of the way, letting them test their wings. Fly or fall, remind me that both serve their purpose. Help me be their loudest cheerleader when they succeed. Help me be their quiet haven when they fall.
Help me know when to make a big deal of something and when to chill out. Don’t let me turn molehills into mountains, but also give me courage to look real problems straight in the eye.
Help me understand their fears and emotions and not blow them off. Help me take them seriously because they seriously need me. And because they are always worth it.
May encouragement not criticism be my default. Now more than ever, unconstructive criticism makes me an unsafe confidante. May I give eye contact, hugs, and grace in abundance. May they know they can’t outsin or outrun Your love. May they see their worth in nothing but Christ.
Everyday, please show me something uniquely beautiful about my teens, and may I praise You for it. For them.
May I always turn to You first for gratitude and guidance. Help me remember you see all my children’s days stretched before them as I see only today. Thank you for always being for my children and for filling all my parenting gaps.
In the mighty name of Jesus,
{and all the mamas of teens say}
Amen
{Want a free copy of this prayer? Download it here.}
Oh. My. I’m heaving a huge sigh and listening to my printer spin out the downloadable version of this prayer. You know how I love your blog. This might be my favorite post of all. My girls are only 5 and 2 and yet this wisdom rings true for me as well. I want to keep it in my pocket – better yet, taped to my bathroom mirror – so that when we reach 13, I will be equipped and courageous. “Help me to parent from Truth not fear.” Amen, my good sister. Amen.
You are such a kind encourager, Becky. Thank you!