This original Oklahoma girl received oceans of cultural lessons during the Hawaii years. One of those centered around birthday parties. Unlike here on the mainland, kids in Hawaii don’t open birthday gifts in front of their friends. Gifts are opened privately out of respect for different financial situations and giving abilities and to avoid the comparison trap. So you leave birthday parties full of Kalua pork, cabbage, poi, birthday cake, and a generous helping of the ohana spirit. But you won’t get to take the reaction the child had to the gifts with you.
For me, this tells the story of true thanksgiving, and what it looks like to give out of love and gratitude for someone and not focus on what we get – or don’t get – in return. We give thanks before receiving anything. We give thanks for the opportunity to give.
I tell myself to remember this.
When I write something and it gets few comments, I will be thankful for the opportunity to give.
When I post something on twitter or facebook and hear crickets in return, I will be thankful for the opportunity to give.
When I mail that gift and don’t hear anything back from the recipient, I will be thankful for the opportunity to give.
When I make the new pumpkin pie recipe for Thanksgiving dinner and it bombs, I will be thankful for the opportunity to give.
I’m not gonna lie: This is sometimes easier said than done. I want to turn it all around backwards and insist you do something for me before I am thankful. But I remember this is not God’s way. He tosses up the sun everyday and the stars every night while giving a thousand miracles in between. He does it all whether we give thanks or not.
But when we are thankful – and when we give out of that thankfulness – the windows of our hearts fling open to allow His gifts inside.
“It’s true that giving thanks is actually the best way to receive the gifts. It seems like it should be the opposite, like receiving the gift comes first, and then we’ll feel thankful. But when it comes to invisible things like hope in the midst of heartache or faith in the midst of fear, being thankful can be the very window by which these gifts are able to come in.” ~Emily Freeman
I pray y’all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, friends. This week and always, may heaven’s favorite blessings be yours.
I’ll be taking the week off to hang with my posse and prepare our own Thanksgiving meal. We are hosting a couple “orphan” families like us who don’t have much extended family in town. What will you be doing this year for Thanksgiving?
Happy Thanksgiving, friend! I love you and your words. 🙂
Same to ya, beautiful. xo
This is a good one, Kristen! Giving isn’t ever really about us. It’s about God loving someone through us. When we learn to give with pure motives & no expectations, we are incredibly blessed with so much joy and purpose and freedom.
And know that I am so blessed by your gift every time you put pen to paper or fingertip to keyboard. May you be encouraged and strengthened to continue on In giving. Praying that you have a restful and joyous Thanksgiving. I will be working out, cleaning and doing laundry. I like to be productive. 🙂 Much love!!!
You are so smart, Karina. And thanks for the encouragement. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. Love ya, girl!
Wow – talk about challenging! You and Emily always give me food for serious thought. Oh, and “He tosses up the sun everyday and the stars every night while giving a thousand miracles in between” – love it. Simply poetic, friend.
The university’s hosting a Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow night for the twenty students in my study abroad group. Hey, make sure you cherish the family time 🙂
Sonika darling, I’m thinking of you especially fondly as you are away from family in this season of school overseas. May your Thanksgiving be full of good things from the oven and all kind of lovin’. I cherish you!
Wow, I needed to hear this today. Thank you.
Happy Thanksgiving, Brenda!
Having a very quiet Thanksgiving this year with just one brother, his wife and in-laws and our Mom. Will be odd to not have the nieces and nephews around this year. They are all off in the world doing wonderful things. And never take the silence that may come with your posts to heart. You have so often touched my heart. The past 6 months have been some of the most difficult of my life. I have been blessed with friends and family who have loved me through every heartbreaking moment. And then there are your words. To be honest sometimes they leave me speechless. So many times your words have spoken healing to my heart in ways that I can never fully communicate. It has almost at times seemed as though God had a conversation with you regarding what I needed so badley to hear from Him. You, wonderful lady, are a blessing and this year I give thanks for finding your blog! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your “posse” and frineds!!
Stella, I’m so sorry you’ve had such a long season of difficulty. May this Thanksgiving be a time of fresh renewal and fresh starts as you sense God closer than close.
I’m so thankful for your presence here, Stella. You bless. Happy Thanksgiving!
Beautifully put! I love to choose one word for the New Year. I did this last year, asking God to give me just one word to guide me instead of a list of resolutions. The word that kept ringing in my ear was Now. And the scripture I was drawn to was “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:19) And this year has been a year of Nows…and maybe some disobedience regarding some Nows too.
But already I am asking God to show me the word for next year. And the word that’s been staying with me is Serve. I do believe God is calling me to serve and stop waiting to be served…and to be thankful for the opportunity to serve. Thanks…I consider this a bit of confirmation. Happy Thanksgiving! Oh we’ll be visiting my husband’s family. Always lovely!!
Elise, I *love* how you live in the Spirit, and I love seeing what this looks like in your life. I love seeing how your plans follow His will. Just beautiful.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving with family! You are a dear.
Kristen, I love how you speak truth in such a gentle and loving way. This was something that I needed to hear, especially the part where you mail a gift to someone and don’t hear anything back. For some reason, that has been a prickly thorn for me these past couple of weeks…feeling like maybe the person doesn’t like the gift, or doesn’t appreciate me, when really I need to change my heart and not have any expectation of something in return. You are right, I have to be thankful for the opportunity to give!
It’s “cooling down” here in Hawaii, in the 70s, and we are excited to spend our first Thanksgiving here with my parents and extended family. I hope you have a wonderful, blessed Thanksgiving!! Thank you for what you do here on this blog, you have blessed me and I’m sure so many others with your words!!
Maura, I know exactly what you’re speaking of here. Sigh. Working on some heart issues right alongside you.
I have such fun memories of Thanksgiving in Hawaii! May your Thanksgiving be wonderfully blessed as well. Maybe enjoy some beach time and shave ice for me? 🙂 Sending you love across the Pacific!
Happy Thanksgiving!! I’m thankful to you for the beauty in the ordinary I see in your photos and words. You speak volumes to me in a few words and taking to time to say s simple hello is a gift. I’m blessed to have found you and then doubly blessed to have met you. It’s been an amazing year.
Happy Thanksgiving, Amy! Knowing you is a gift. xo
Thanking Him in advance for some extra needed miracles {like a new facial nerve to replace the one that got blown out by a dental error} and grace in the in between until faith becomes sight. Love you friend… you are a gift!
Great way to look at it, wonderful perspective!
Janelle