“We are running ‘the race marked out for us’ {Heb. 12.1}. That means we’re only concerned about the obstacles in our lane. if someone feels she needs to do something, then let her do it – it’s probably in her lane. But that doesn’t mean it’s in yours.
This isn’t about self improvement. It’s about aligning our lives with love in the way God created us to do. To do that, we need a lot of grace and an approach that makes sense based on who God made us. Every runner has a rhythm that works best for her.”
~Holley Gerth, You’re Already Amazing.
I sit on the front porch behind evergreens and short ‘n squatty orange pumpkins and watch the last of the fiery maple leaves pull away from their branches. The wind blows and blows, the leaves spin up and up before swooping down.
I’m spinning myself up as well which is quite a feat given the weight of expectation I carry, most of which I’ve picked up all by myself. My mind races with things I should be doing:
Clean house.
Get pictures in their albums.
Return phone calls.
Make homemade bread.
And then there are bigger things that don’t look so much like to-do’s but shouldn’t I be doing them, too?
Volunteer regularly at shelter.
Adopt orphans.
Sighing, I think how to-do lists are bully-expectations. When I stare at the list in the morning, I expect to climb Pike’s Peak and knock it all out. But by nightfall, my meager progress laughs at me. And then if I talk to my neighbor or sister or friend and discover her to-done list could run circles around mine, I wonder what in the Sam Hill is wrong with me.
But then I come across some Old Testament words in the Message translation:
“…what do you think God expects from you? Just this: Live in his presence in holy reverence, follow the road he sets out for you, love him, serve God, your God, with everything you have in you, obey the commandments and regulations of God that I’m commanding you today—live a good life.” {emphasis mine} ~Deuteronomy 10:12
There is nothing wrong with me, only wrong things for me to focus on today. The only things expected of me are to love and serve God. How I put that into action looks like whatever God puts in my lane. Today, that is picking up my husband’s birthday cake and making his birthday dinner. It is getting the kids’ breakfast served and lunches packed. It looks like Bible study and a quick vacuum of the floors and taking a friend to the airport.
Tomorrow, it might look similar or completely different.
So I start a new list of what I am doing rather than what I am not. I cheer for others as they do good things in their own lanes, but I keep my eyes on my own.
The wind dies down and a peace settles around me. It feels good to be on solid ground. Then I hear her call from the living room,
“Maaaamaaaa! Can you help me find my blue headband?”
I stand up and open the screen door, smiling afresh with the knowledge I’m not just helping my girl look for a headband. I am meeting all expectations, checking off all my to-do’s as I love and serve the God of heaven in my little corner of the earth.
What does loving and serving look like in your corner today?
I can’t tell you how much this blessed me. Thanks so much for sharing!! What an encouragement.
You’re such a love, Amy.
For me, loving is loving myself…trying to respect the body He’s given me by resting and caring for myself in the midst of grief.
Oh, and “bully-expectations”? That’s as concise as it’ll ever get. My heart digs yours 🙂
*For me, today, “loving” means loving myself
My heart digs yours, too. Much love to you across the pond!
This is good stuff Kristen! This post screams flexibility to me. God never does the same thing in the same way every time. He is all about new things! When we let Him give us His to-do list everyday, it keeps us in step with His rhythm. That’s when He works best through us. Today, loving & serving looks like doing my job with joy, meeting a friend for dinner, going to Bible Study & working out! Thanks for this post. Love you!!!
Yes! God is flexible and creative enough to make all our lanes unique. Love this, Karina.
Kristen, You are a breathe of fresh air every time I read a post that comes to my Inbox. I love the encourage that you bring to others and your honesty and humbleness. Most of all I love how you bring us back to God EVERY SINGLE TIME. Today’s was especially important, just now, as I was getting a little bit too proud of what I have accomplished. A reminder that it is through GOD that I can and should do all things, little and big things. Thank you! You are making a difference in people’s lives…how about that for your to-done list?
You make me smile, Tera. Thanking God for you here right now.
I am learning that same lesson these days….and my OCD (or CDO if you are trully in need for organization) isn’t liking it. I want things to be planned, schedule, organized – but with two little ones and the new title of SAHM/Homeschooler that isn’t possible it seems. It is sinking in, but little by little.
Today serving and loving was painting our nails on the floor in a fort built by the girls….and being ok if they painted more of their fingers than the actual nail.
CDO ~ ha!
Ah, Sarah ~ what a good, good mama you are! Keep painting those nails and overlooking the mess and loving those babies hard. You shine, sister!
“CDO” LOL!!! 🙂
This is a great reminder, Kristen. Glad you brought our vision into good focus…especially with the Holidays coming, you know how we women can focus on the wrong things.
Oh, good point, Diane. The holidays can bring a whole new set of expectation-bullies. Will remember this!
Girl. Could you just whisper these words in my ears every morning? I suppose not. So I’m printing out that Deuteronomy passage; I love it in the Message. Thank you for this.
I love you, Mary, and I think I’ll do the same with the Deuteronomy passage. 🙂 What a delight you are!
Hi Kristen, your words speak straight to my heart. Awesome, thank you.
A warm, wild wave to you, Valerie!
Too often I judge myself based on how much I’ve checked off on my to-do list (and I am addicted to making lists!) Thank you for reminding me that God cares about my heart while I’m doing those tasks, not about the checking off of the boxes! I thought of your message as I was putting my daughter to sleep for her nap – even though that’s not on my to-do list, reading her stories and singing songs together and cuddling are all part of my loving and serving today 🙂
Way to go, good mama!
Love,
Your fellow to-do list addict. 🙂
Love this post…and the Ahhhhhh feeling it gives me. It can be so hard to remember the only one we really serve is God. And we can look over at the assignments someone else has and miss those He intends for us along…like mothering our own children!
I was a birth teacher years ago. And I knew that the new moms I taught would be frustrated with how little they got done once a baby joins the family. So I told them to write a Got Done list instead of a To Do list…and if they could get one thing done, then consider it a good day. Bless you!
beautifully said…..needed that today….much gratitude
I needed to hear this today most especially because it’s so difficult to drown out the whispers and the shouts in order to keep my expectations of My journey aligned with His. It’s not jealousy….but it’s that there are so many wonderful things to grab hold of for the Glory of God…and even that can be a distraction as I do many things but nothing well. Good, good reminders.