Her footsteps reach my ears well before she does. She stomps into the kitchen, mad as a wet hornet. This first Monday after spring break isn’t going to be pretty.
As far as she’s concerned, we can’t say or do anything right. One brother stares at her {“Whhhy are you lookin’ at me?”}, the other asks her what’s wrong {“Nothin’!!”}. But it’s when I ask her if she wants milk that all heck breaks loose right there over oatmeal.
I tell her enough is enough and it’s time for a do-over.
“Young lady, you may march right back upstairs and walk down the hall to your room. Then, you may turn around and walk right back down with a new attitude.”
She obliges begrudgingly.
This isn’t a new idea, all of us have had our do-over turns from bedrooms, basement, the car. And really, who doesn’t need do-over turns and second chances?
I often believe I’m too permissive or too strict of a parent. Like, give me some happy middle, for cryin’ out loud. In moments like these, when the day is 10 minutes old and heading south fast, I need an action that will keep me a a fortified wall of jello and prevent me from adding my own emotions to the unstable air. Encouraging do-overs shows the happy middle through discipline with grace. Because really, who doesn’t need the opportunity to u-turn for grace? To change history just a bit?
She comes down the stairs slightly quieter but with a fresh start attitude. An uncomfortable but preferable silence fills the table, I hear only clanking spoons against oatmeal bowls. I turn on 102.7 fm and hear Jeremy Camp sing words that give my own mood a U-turn:
Hope is here
Shout the news to everyone
It’s a new day peace has come
Jesus saves.
Mercy triumphs at the cross
Love has come to rescue us
Jesus saves.
And right there over peanut butter and honey sandwiches I say thank you for a new moment of peace, that we don’t just grasp thin air for do-overs. We look to the One who invented fresh starts, Who saves.
We’re in the carpool line now. I pull over and park before opening the sliding door. Big boys and their too-heavy backpacks hop out of the car but the girl lingers.
“Mama, I’m sorry ’bout this morning. I love you.”
“You’re forgiven, baby. I love you too!” She gives me a kiss, slings the backpack over her shoulder, and steps out.
I step into a day redeemed and smile, “Thank you, Lord.”
What do you do when you need your moment or your day redeemed?
So lovely, Kristen…
Thank you, Kat. I repeat your “wall of jello” words inside my head at least every other day!
I think it is so amazing how so often music is what changes my attitude or those of my children. It is a language of the soul. And, I feel like you did, too permissive, too strict, most of the time! Thanks for sharing your heart.
“Language of the soul” ~ yes! Love that.
Thanks for this reminder! it was filled with all sorts of wisdom about how to mother, and having grace to give yourself a do-over. I love that all day doesn’t have to be bad and you can turn it around, thanks for your words!
Thank you, Laura. Grace for a do-over…I love how that sounds. I need many everyday!