Yesterday afternoon and evening floated by in a picture from heaven. We ate, talked, and played with a family together after a long separation. We laughed ’til our sides split open and just generally enjoyed being with people who get us. And with people who don’t mind if we bring a little quirky.
Heaven knows it feels good to be understood.
If you ask me what I fear, I won’t say cancer or my children getting kidnapped. Oh sure, I think about those big, scary things, but they don’t consume my day-to-day thoughts. In everyday life, it’s the hundred little things I say or don’t say, do or don’t do that I fear getting wrong. And if you {or the PTA president or my neighbor or Bible study friend} see me doing it wrong, I fear you won’t get me. And I dearly wish you would get me!
While on the (in)courage retreat two weeks ago, I spent the first night tossing and turning and fretting. I kept replaying an earlier conversation with Lysa where I rattled on and on about a story I feared sounded a hundred kinds of dingy. I mean, I basically had just met her. Why didn’t I listen more and talk less?
The following day, some of the gals were talking about fears centered around over-thinking words, and I confessed to Lysa about my late night fretting. She told me to consider myself freed from ever worrying about anything I say because she wouldn’t be condemning me at all. I relaxed and thought, “What a gift that is.”
And isn’t that a gift our Jesus provides? Grace upon grace that says I don’t have to fret over what I say or do because He gets me. He isn’t surprised or offended when I tell drawn out stories or forget to turn in the school spirit t-shirt money. Or come out of the women’s bathroom with toilet paper hanging outside my dress {oh yes I did}. Being alive in Christ means I do my best to see things from His perspective, not anyone else’s. And He says I’m flawed but forgiven, an imperfect-but-perfectly-loved daughter. He tells me to get a grip and not sweat the small stuff.
So when I see you, consider yourself freed from worrying about anything you say because I won’t be condemning you at all. Bring all your quirky and let’s rest in His perspective!
In honor of Angie Smith’s new, incredible book What Women Fear, I’m linking up with the (in)courage book club. Click here to share your own story of fears.
And finally…
Late Saturday night, our Lord welcomed Sara home. In life, Sara had every reason to choose bitterness and fear, but instead she chose joy and trust and Him. The Jesus in her saw the best in everyone, and her life is a testimony to His extravagant love. Sara died peacefully with her mom and brother by her side. Funeral information may be found here.
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I know what you mean. Sometimes I let that fearful inner of monologue of, “Why did I say THAT? Or should I have done this? …” hold me back because I’m so afriad that people won’t understand me that I simply stop being me. I’m going to be reading along for the book club, too, and I’m really excited about this book.
Me, too, Amy. I believe every woman on the planet could gain something from this book…
I so get this, Kristen. Fear of what others think — it weighs heavy at times, but I’m working on getting a grip. I’m “bringing my quirky and resting in His perspective” with you. I appreciate your words, sweet friend.
I am a recent follower of your blog…
It is so comforting to know that with God I am never misunderstood… He knows, He sees, He hears… my heart. Truly freedom from many things including fear.
Blessings to you –
danise
To feel at “home” with friends is the best feeling in the world. But it seems like that closeness is a hard thing to find. I think it’s because we often hide those character traits that we feel are less than flattering. By not sharing, we forfeit intimacy. Thanks, Kristen!
Lysa wrote a book called Am I Messing Up My Children. A few pages into it she tells of a terrible morning she had and she “cussed” at her daughter, then she told a friend of what she had done and the friend’s response was one of complete and total grace. (bottom of Pg 19 actually.) Reading that stopped me in my tracks. Oh, to have a friend like that.
And I read you today and Lysa at (in)courage today and Ann there yesterday and long for THAT kind of friendship. … the wounds of the past are very deep and I wonder- will they ever heal?
Sharon, thank you for that book recommendation~I have been meaning to check that book out but haven’t done so. Heaven knows I’ve asked myself that question before. Every day. 🙂
I know the hard stuff of friendship too, about not having them period. I totally get you here, Sharon. I read Lysa’s article, and I love her words on pouring out your friendship hurts, desires, and dreams to God. He cares about every single one of them, and He will be faithful to answer all those prayers in His time. The waiting is hard, isn’t it? But girl, you are soooo treasured and valued, Sharon. By the (in)courage community *and* me! xoxo
This is just so beautiful. Because don’t we all have those fears?
I like the way you share your heart…. still so glad to have shared that measly airport meal with you. 🙂