At the end of last week, our daughter received difficult news that brought with it a heaping helping of disappointment. Upon hearing it, she dropped her head on my chest and cried her sweet little eyes out. I told her to just let out the sadness as I stroked her hair over and over again. I told her I was sorry, that I wished the news was different.
But what I wanted to say was Baby, it’s all gonna work out–I promise. Because a mama just wants to say something that will ease the pain, ya know? I resisted, though, even as I know that’s true.
The truth is everything will be okay, and there is certainly a time for giving someone those words. But when the disappointment or sadness is still ink wet on their heart–or on your own–saying it too early isn’t helpful. Said too early, those words can usher out the time to mourn the loss, and that time needs to have its say.
You and I, we need a safe space to mourn life’s losses, to confess the hurt rather than conceal it.
So in your own life today, if you feel pressured to jump right over this part and hurry toward the healing, may I encourage you to resist that pressure? Walk toward healing, of course, but don’t force it into your presence by grabbing the scruff of its neck. At least, not at first.
“God doesn’t manufacture pain, but he certainly puts it to use.” ~ Max Lucado, You’ll Get Through This
Let the sadness do its work, yes, but don’t let it work you over. There is a season for everything under heaven, and Hope is always on the horizon. In the meantime, remember God is a personal God and he is with you, stroking your hair and encouraging you to just let out the sadness.
May we put it safely in his hands and let him put it to his redeeming use.
Much love, friends. xo
I needed to read this today. Thank you.
Me too, Bethany. xo
There is so much wisdom in this. A good cry is often my first step out of denial into acceptance. Hugs to your baby and your sweet Mama heart.
YES! Bring on the tears.
So much love to you, Ann Marie. xoxo
My heart goes out to your little one…life can be hard at any age. Thanks for these thoughts today. I haven’t really thought about delaying these words “it will be all right”, even though we know they are true. Something for me to ponder today…
Blessings!
Thank you Kristen!
This has been one of those “bad” days that you’d like to forget. My aging dad had an issue at nursing home and we’re praying it will pass. Work stress added to it did not help any!
On the way home the radio announcer talking about a problem said don’t sweat the small stuff and it’s all small–remember God is in Control! 🙂 That brightened my day!
Blessings 🙂
Kristen,
Hugs to you and your little one! Thanks for the wisdom! God is truly working in and through you to reach women!!
You have no idea how timely this is. I was doing what you said – letting out the sadness – just last night. This mama’s heart heard some news about her teen son that mamas don’t want to hear. How I cried!
And, Kristen, I KNEW that God was with me, comforting me. But, that word picture? “Stroking my hair”? I just realized that is EXACTLY what He was doing!! Thank you for putting it into words for me 🙂
This parenting thing isn’t for lightweights, is it? Praying for your family, good mama. May you know God’s comfort in countless ways today.