It started with a peace offering in the form of a Subway Sandwich.
I plumb forgot about my son’s “Student of the Month” ceremony, so the next day I told him I would bring him lunch to school from the restaurant of his choice – usually something done the day of the ceremony. Come noontime, the minivan and I wheel into Subway, and I order a Spicy Italian for my boy and me.
After bringing the fixings-laden sandwiches to the car, I look at the clock and realize I had quite a bit of time before his lunch started at school. So, I decide to fill up the gas tank. Approaching the gas station, I notice a woman across the street with thick, long strawberry blonde hair standing on the side of the road. She holds a cardboard sign with the words:
Family of 4 in need of help. Anything is appreciated.
I keep going because honestly, that’s what I usually do. I whisper a prayer for her as I pull into the gas station.
While Mrs. Minivan drinks her fill, I look back to where the woman is standing. I think about what I can do to help her and am convicted to start keeping restaurant gift cards in my car like my husband does. After paying for the gas, I get inside the van and look through my wallet. Nothing but a little change. Then I lay eyes on my half of the Subway sandwich.
“Well, it’s not much, but it’s something.” I think to myself.
So I drive over to the other side of the gas station, find an out of the way place to park. And that’s when I notice it: A man standing above her on the hill, making his way towards her. At first I think he must be offering to help, and by the way she turns around and sets down her sign she must have, too. We were both wrong. I couldn’t make out his exact words, but from the way his face screwed up all angry and his body language jerked, he wasn’t being helpful or kind.
She didn’t engage him or defend herself. She just turned back around, body tense as she picked back up her sign.
I felt the Lord tell me in that moment,
“Your words are a sign for the state of your heart, and they lead you to act on 2 choices: To be helpful or hurtful.”
So often I choose wrong. Like the man on the hill, I make a decision about someone from what I think I see in a moment without knowing her life story, without any context of relationship. And from that assumption I make choices that hurt.
I quickly walk up to her, look her in the eye and hand her my sandwich. I tell her I know it isn’t much, but maybe it still helps? She smiles wide and offers a thank you.
I don’t know if the woman’s own choices got her in that desperate place, someone else’s choices, or a combination of both. It doesn’t matter. When God dots our path with someone in need, He only asks we fill it with compassion. Sometimes an offering of compassion looks like prayers. Sometimes it looks like a smile. Sometimes it looks like a Subway sandwich. But it always looks like helping the broken heal, if only by the smallest of margins.
Lord, You know best what compassionate and helpful look like in each situation. May we trust You and lean on You as we walk out those answers in our daily lives, making them a peace offering of thanksgiving for You.
What does compassion look like in your life today?
One day, whilst frantically getting a lunch together to take to work, I grabbed the entire bag of grapes that I had just bought. I never got around to eating them but when I left work a man was standing at the corner when I stopped at the usual red light. I didn’t have cash. I looked over at my bag of grapes and thought “it’s not much but…” I rolled my window down and asked him if he’d like my grapes. He shrugged and said “sure, I guess..” The ‘whoa’ sound that came from him when I handed over the bag made me realize that it was not expected. His wide smile made me feel better about my small offering. I’ll never forget that moment. Today’s compassion will be towards my husband who sadly has an ongoing tension headache, today is day 3. I’ll breathe deeply even though I’ve heard him say he’s in pain a million times. 🙂 I’ll remember that I vowed to be with him in sickness and in health and I’ll try my best to ease his pain as much as I can. His smile is so much sweeter when he’s not hurting. 🙂
Love this, Nandini.
And the fact that you used the word ‘whilst’ means I automatically love you. 🙂
Oh, it needs to be said: Subway rocks. For my mum and me, it’s “our place” – know what I mean? I applaud your choice 🙂
You’ve offered an important thought here about making assumptions without the context of relationships…thanks for the reminder. I certainly fall into that trap way too often. How can we really know, honestly, what another person is going through?
Compassion for me, today, will be calling my dad – and just to listen, nothing else. We don’t communicate that well with each other, and that combined with my quick temper means that we don’t have the best of relationships. But we’re currently separated by 3,000 miles because I’m studying abroad, and I know he loves and misses me (although he doesn’t show it in the ways that I need)…so I’m going to keep trying. Thanks for your encouragement!
Sonika, I think I will call my own dad today too! Thank *you* for the nudge.
And I peeked at your blog ~ you’re studying in Ireland right now? Glory be, I want to know more! My maiden name is O’Neill, so I am part Irish. Dying to visit there one day!
Thanks for visiting! Yup, I’m a New Yorker but am currently in Galway (in the west – do you know where you’re from?) I’ve been here since late August and will be here until mid-December. Being away from friends and family has been an adjustment for sure, but I’m finally beginning to settle in and learn how to manage the loneliness. God has been (and continues to be) present in it all! I’m happy to tell you anything you’d like to know – and the blog’s there as well if you’re looking for something more nuanced than I could give you in a comment here 🙂
Oh, and you’re quite welcome. The least we can do is encourage each other, right?
Thank you for the reminder that compassion is a choice and we can choose to be helpful, or hurtful. How often do I utter those very same words to my children!? It seems like it is so much easier to have compassion for those whom we deem “worthy” of our compassion, so for me today it is choosing to have compassion in my heart for a deeply hurting woman who has recently hurt me.
Raquel, you are a thousand kinds of beautiful and I want to be just like you when I grow up. {Even though I think I’m older than you.} I love you!
Very inspirational – thank you so much!
I had a homeless type come to my door yesterday asking for some money or “something”. I ran upstairs to the kitchen in our townhouse and found a nice nectarine, large wrapped muffin and a bag of almonds and raisins. I was a little concerned, because in my haste I left him at my opened door downstairs, but he was simply waiting patiently when I got back to him and pleased with the offering on my part. I don’t usually have wrapped or ready to go things. There isn’t any Costco or restaurant cards in Spain, but I was happy the Lord gave me a way to share.
The most poignant part of your story for me was that of our words as choices. Such a good reminder! Blessings!
You are so right here… There are so many times during the day where we have two choices and so many times without a second thought we choose the wrong one. I love your outlook, but remember, God fed the multitudes with only two fish and five loves of bread. I’m sure he could feed one family, with one six inch sub!!!…. You shouldn’t ever feel like a gift that came from you heart, isn’t much… For some, it is way more than any of us will ever know!!!… Love your message… Keep up the great work!!
I’m sure you didn’t go hungry, either. God’s Grace is enough…always and for every need. You provided Grace for this lady, God granted you His for your day.
Blessings for your lovely actions…
Cathryn
What a powerful story that all started with a simple Subway sandwich. I always feel that I don’t have enough to offer. That I too am struggling with my own set of financial or emotional needs and what I have left to give isn’t enough to make a difference. Thank you for reminding me that sometimes it is the small acts that speak volumes.