We sit starched and sparkly in what my grandma would call proper church clothes: Button down shirt and starched pants for the boys, dresses with tights and boots for the girls. David, the kids and I are headed to a formal concert, and we have dressed the part well.
In the car on the way to the performance hall, I review appropriate concert behavior. No talking during the performance. No clapping until each piece concludes. No asking for bathroom breaks ’til intermission. My older kids (should) know this, but I figure it doesn’t hurt to remind them how their manners need to reflect kindness and respect to the musicians and others in attendance.
The concert saw both music and children in excellent form. Intermission arrived, so all three kids and myself took the opportunity to use the restroom. And that’s when I lost all credibility to lecture on good manners as I proceeded to exit the bathroom with my sweaterdress tucked up inside my tights.
Yep, awesome and classy: that’s me.
While my sanguine personality and I can easily laugh about it, my face still gets a little hot remembering. It was funny, but the looks I received had me regretting the decision to use the restroom in the first place.
Social media sometimes feels the same way. For example, I kindly and respectfully try to engage someone else in a conversation, but they don’t respond. I post something on facebook or twitter {I find} witty or funny, and the response is Cricketville. While I have pure intentions in posting updates or tweets, I sit embarrassed when I get no response. I wonder if I walked into the “room” with my dress caught up in my tights by saying something ridiculous or unintelligent after all.
When we start to feel this way, it can only mean one thing:
It’s time to step away from the social media and step towards a healthy perspective.
1. Remember the social media room is crowded and loud. Recently, I attended a large party at a friend’s stunning, spacious home. While I waved and said hello to several folks and chatted with a few, many people I never spoke one word to. Many people I didn’t even see. The social media room is like this, but it’s endlessly big with new people walking in and out all the time. There’s no way everyone in the room is going to talk to – much less connect with – everyone else.
2. Remember we give to give, not to get. When we leave a thoughtful comment or message, it is a present we place in the hands of the person. We give the gift and move on. Maybe they’ll say thank you out loud, maybe only in their heart. Either way, we don’t stand around, tap our foot, and demand a response ~ we aren’t owed anything.
3. Remember why you’re important. You have worth because you have fullness in Christ, not because of so-and-so’s interaction and friendship. Put your hope in Him, not them. He is the only One who fills to overflowing and fully gets who you are.
I cherish online friendships, especially the ones that meander into real life. But even a relationship lover like me admits I can’t have one with every person that crosses my path. Neither can you. We all have families to prioritize. We have jobs to do, laundry to wash, words to read, toilets to scrub, walks to take, skies to watch. If we are meant to interact with someone on a deeper level, God will see that it happens.
In the meantime, when the chatter gets loud and you get lonely, take it as an invitation to step away from the social media. Write offline or read in a corner. Kiss faces. Wrap arms. Snuggle up. Love hard.
And when we do our thing online, let’s not get caught up in what others do or don’t do as it relates to us. Give a message with a smile, grateful for the opportunity to encourage. If your heart reflects kindness and respect to other folks, there is no need to dwell on your one-way conversation.
Not even if your sweaterdress is tucked up in your tights.
Rebekah Richardson says
‘When we leave a thoughtful comment or message, it is a present we place in the hands of the person. We give the gift and move on.’ so loved this
Kristen says
Thank you Rebekah. xo
Christina says
Mockingbird had this conference titled What Would Jesus Tweet? I listened to one of the podcasts – it was gospel centered, funny and informative. I’ve been taking a semi-break from facebook and have been blessed. It also helps that my smartphone broke and because I didn’t want to spend money right now to get a new phone, I am using an ol’ fashioned phone that I can barely text on:)
Beth Williams says
Loved this post! I rarely do much social media. I may occasionally look at Facebook and text people, but NO TWITTER, TWEET, PINTEREST! Don’t care about it or the “noise”. I’m a busy person who enjoys quiet time with hubby snuggling.
You are a very wise and witty person and I love your writing.
Blessings 🙂
Dolly@Soulstops says
Kristen,
Thanks for the chuckle and for the wise words….I stepped away from FB for a week recently and it was just what I needed..I’m slowly dipping my toe back in…
Rebecca Evans says
Really good Kristen! Love the analogy and all the sweet encouraging words at the same time! I love visiting and reading your blog.
Blessings,
Rebecca
Kristen says
Thank *you* Rebecca. xo
Lauren says
I needed this today. Thank you for pointing me to truth.