After dinner and before trick-or-treating Saturday, my girl excitedly puts on her sapphire blue Athena “Greek goddess” costume a friend kindly made for her. I curled her long hair, and for the first time I put real makeup on her–just enough to honor a special evening. She added her own handmade headband as well as snazzy gold earrings before turning around to face me. As I drank in the head-to-toe view of my daughter, I had to sit down.
When in the world did she stop being a little girl and turn into a young lady?
In that moment, I realized I sat on the edge of a new season, a season where my daughter is almost a teen. Part of me wanted to bring back the little girl, to tell her to march right back to her room, find her old Cinderella costume and tiara, and put them on pronto. But then I remember this change comes right on schedule, and she is growing exactly as she should.
But that doesn’t always make the change easy to swallow.
When you stand on the edge of something new, it is often impossible to prepare yourself for all of it. There are components no book can explain. There are parts no teacher except that of personal experience can fully convey. So you hold the hand of Jesus and know deep down he’s not going to lead you down a dark tunnel to nowhere. He may lead you to a tough and trying place, yes, but only if the gain is greater than the pain.
When a changing season knocks you off balance, go ahead and sit down and catch your breath. When you’re able to stand again, perhaps these 3 things will help keep you steady as you bravely welcome the change rather than resist it.
3 Things to Keep You Steady as You Sit on the Edge of Something New
- Have landmarks that provide a rhythm to your day. When change affects your internal or external environment, it’s good to have regular rituals and routines. Traditions ease transitions. When transitions throw you for a loop, traditions help steady you. For me, this looks like a short Bible reading and devo in the morning before the kids are up. It looks like having tea in the afternoon after the kids have settled into homework and I’ve started dinner. It looks like weekly walks around the neighborhood and Friday night dates with my husband, (Thank God for teenagers so we can actually leave for a while and not worry about a babysitter!) It doesn’t matter what the routine is as long as it’s something that’s a blessing and help to yourself. Giving yourself a predictable rest will help return your heart and soul to a steady place during your change.
- Wield your sword. In Ephesians 6 we find the armor of God laid out for us. Within that armor, the only offensive tool is the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God (Ephesians 6:17). If I’m in a season of keeping my sword at my side and not using it, difficult change is much more likely to throw me off kilter. I don’t want to wait ’til the hard change is on my doorstep to use my sword. If we are in daily practice of taking that sword out of its sheath and wielding it–that is, reading even just a few verses from our Bible–then when change comes, I am better able to see it in a healthy perspective. I forget it, but it’s true: When I am breathing in the Word, I am breathing out a better day, a better season, and a better view of my change.
- Process what you’re going through out loud with someone. I know this requires bravery because it requires vulnerability, and it’s certainly easier if you’re a verbal processor. But during seasons of change, sometimes just saying the thoughts you’re thinking and feeling out loud go a long way toward helping you make sense of it. Explaining the good, bad, and ugly of your situation to a safe person helps prepare you for how to maneuver it. If you don’t have that someone, I’m praying now God places a good listening friend in your life with whom you can share every insecurity and fear.
From before you were born, God has been writing a God-for-you story he wants to tell through your life. The God who created the ground you walk on wants to walk with you through every moment of your unsettling change. Together, let’s lean into our change–and into the story he’s writing in our lives.
DaySpring is kindly giving away 10 sets of Girl Meets Change + two bea-u-ti-ful “You’re so loved” teacups from their (in)courage “Friendship on Purpose” line–maybe the perfect accessories for starting great conversations with a friend? To enter this giveaway, simply complete the entry requirements in the giveaway widget (email subscribers please click here) and 10 of you will win a free copy of Girl Meets Change and 2 teacups. Happy entering!
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This past year has been a whirlwind. My oldest son, 23, got engaged. We adopted two brothers ages 4 and 2. Harvest just finished and I finally started writing my book. Finding balance has been a struggle.
I needed these reminders today. I’m 35.5 weeks pregnant with Baby #5 and have been fighting fear as we anticipate his/her arrival. I’m ready to not be pregnant, just not quite ready to have another baby. Rhythms, yes! My morning time with the Lord always keeps me grounded, even in the midst of newborn sleepless nights. I need to take time in the next few days to determine what other rhythms are necessary right now and which ones can be placed on hold. Over the past few days I’ve verbalized my fears to my husband and my mom and after both conversations I felt so much better about the changes that are to come. Thank you for always pointing to Jesus, Kristen!
Definitely standing on the “edge of something new” as my 18 (almost 19 year old) daughter gets married 1 month from today and her fiance from England comes to live with us for awhile.
Processing out loud, definitely helps. 🙂
I am going through SO many life changes right now. And they are not good. Thank you for this book. I am hoping to hear from God through this book.
We just moved to a new town in late June. We bought a house that needs some work as the market was quite tight and we also wNted to buld equity. That work is half done. . .looking forward to all done as it is hard to have my usual rhythms that ground me in journaling and other ways I relax. With the mess and clutter going on until floors are done in 2 more rooms,it is a challenge. But i can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am getting to know ladies at church. Nice post and give away. Thank you!
I’m still struggling to accept and adjust to being single (again). I could use the encouragement and wisdom and would love to be entered for your drawing of Girl Meets Change!♡
This hits home, Kristen. And really a recent change for me is once again going through a season I’ve had to do before but this time it feels oh so different. But a rhythm to my day, a daily dose of God’s Word and honesty to my emotions are definitely three things I have found I must have. I so, so want to read your book. Much love. xoxo
My daughter is turning 13 in April, and I have started homeschooling this school year.
Maybe not a recent change, but something that has rocked my world. My almost 19 year old daughter left home without a word to me almost a year and a half ago and I’ve had almost no contact with her. I know what city and state she is living in, but not her address. I’ve prayed and cried a lot and am trying to learn to trust God throughout this grieving process I’m going through. My husband and I are also in the process of selling our home and moving closer to my parents. That has us feeling in limbo. Thanks for your blog. I always look forward to your words when it lands in my inbox. God bless you!
I’ve had two major changes in the past year. Breast cancer metastasis and early retirement.
I love your blog and have been following you for awhile. I haven’t had a chance to buy your book yet so this would be awesome. I, like you don’t like change. My husband is in the Army reserve so we have lived through several deployments but no major moves for us. However, this September our big change came when our 11 year old son was diagnosed with Leukemia. Big change to how our life and home are running now. Thankfully we know the lord and are able to trust him with our son’s life.
Thank you for your blog.
Three things to keep me steady was a blessing to read today and to remember tomorrow and the day after…I reached an academic milestone and will be starting a new career as many of my friends are looking to retire in the next few years. I love change and adventure but this one is more difficult to grasp even though I have worked hard to get to this place. My mind is not wanting to be quiet and listen (even though I am in Hawaii for a 2-week respite with my husband). I am somewhat “frozen” in time so your admonition to wield the sword is the action I need to be taking. Your post are always a blessing…Mahalo
Great advice Kristen. Thanks so muchf or your sweet and encouraging words…as always!
Change…I have two daughters, my youngest got married this year in June. Her husband just left for active duty in the National Guard for a year! Big change for us all! God is in control… I continue to trust!
Change is a good thing…I want to grow! A quote I love is this, “If it doesn’t challenge you it won’t change you”! I’m also in the beginning process of recording a worship CD! Thank you for this post as I am sitting on the edge of something new and wonderful! I love all three points they are active and working in my life!
I really appreciated this post; I’ve had a dear friend for over 30 years who is my “tea” buddy and we share our joys and sorrows with each other. We’ve both gone through numerous life changes over the years, but we’ve always been able to come together for encouragement. 🙂 She’s a wonderful blessing from the Lord.
Kristen,
Change of any kind is never easy! From January 2014 till now I’ve gone through 3+ major changes. My aging dad got moved into assisted living, had multiple medical issues and this year was put on hospice. My hubby changed jobs 3 times in 14 months (different locations of same company). I ended up quitting my job in June 2015 to be more available for my dad.
Love your advice on how to handle change! Have landmarks that provide a rhythm to your day. I read/listen to Bible daily, then I enjoy listening to Greg Laurie and Chip Ingram. Also walk about 7.5-10 miles daily.
Wield your sword. In Ephesians 6 we find the armor of God laid out for us. I read/listen Bible daily and do a Bible study with church women! Currently reading Fervent from War Room movie!
Process what your going through out loud with someone. Each time my dad had medical issues I would talk it over with friends from work. They were older and had could encourage me. It helped to express my feelings and get it off my chest!! I am blessed with a covenant friend with whom I shared my ordeal as she shared her ordeals with both her parents.
Blessings 🙂
A recent change is planning retirement in the near future. Also recognizing that as my husband and I are getting older that we need to embrace the changes that come with aging and simplifying our lives.
Great advice! A recent change for me has been going back to homeschooling my three kids after sending them to school last year. It’s been good, but still a transition for all of us nonetheless! Helpful to be reminded of these tips you’ve shared above. Thanks!
Such a great post for all of us moms and grandmas! My kids grew up too fast and now my grandchildren are as well! I am fortunate to be able to visit all 6 of them frequently and pour God’s love into them all! I have also learned to wield the Sword well!
Good words Kristen.
Thanks!
I forgot to mention the ‘change’ in my life in the above comment… Tonight we drove to another state to look for a new place to land! I will need a lot of prayer for strength as I’m not as young as I used to be! 🙂 I’m so glad God always leads and guide swhen we ask Him.
Blessings!
We are going through a BIG season of change as we participate in a month long daily feeding camp at our local children’s hospital to help our son eat a balanced diet. Teeny tiny bites of meat, fruits, and veggies were swallowed this week which was a huge victory for this little 6 year old. He has extreme fear of textures, control issues, etc. We’re working through it by prayer, patience, and love. Thank you for these encouraging words as I sip my morning tea before day 4 of 17 feeding clinic roller coaster day. Jenn
Breathe in grace, breathe out grace.
Living in the moment with gratitude.
Lovely giveaway.
My husband’s career path has forked several times in the last couple of years. He is currently working a full time job with the airlines, part time in medicine, and part time with his Army Reserve unit… change has been our normal for the last 3 years!!
We went through a season of change two years ago when we moved across the state and my husband took on a new job while I was 34 weeks pregnant. I ended up with postpartum depression but we look back at that time and see how God brought us through it. Thank you for those reminders and for this wonderful post.
I lost a friend, not in death, but in unfortunate circumstances. It has left me in a fog, with pain and anger as the mist. This, plus the many facets of menopause…..puts me in a whirling tornado, day by day. Need to find my stable place!
My mother was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Her memory has been shifting for the last few years, but she is now incapable of making financial and medical decisions for herself. I am her primary caregiver, but thankfully my husband helps out when he is able. I am hoping to find some inspiration and encouragement from the reading of “Girl Meets Change”.
These are wonderful steps to take in the midst of change. The first really huge change in my life really hit me hard as a freshman in college. Now that I am done with college in December, and transitioning into adult life I am trying to prepare myself for the change, and really working on it not being as devastating as when I was 19. 🙂
big change soon to have 3 teenagers!
A recent ‘change’ is being led to stay put when I really thought it was time for a move across country back to where I grew up. Also still homeschooling my son when I thought it was time to go back to work outside the home. I’m learning to see the blessings & to accept and be in gratitude for the lessons I’m still learning right where I’m at.
Our family is amidst an upcoming change and have been anticipating it for 2 years now. This December we will leave with our four children to spend a year learning Spanish in Costa Rica then we will transition to the Dominican Republic where we will begin full time missionary work for three years.