When I birthed my twins, I felt somewhat confident about what to do. Oh, I’m not talking about juggling two babies at once. I fretted over that big time. I’m talking about confidence in what to do with them and for them. I read parenting books, prepared the baby room, washed the tiny clothes. Sure, as a parent I was a baby, too.You bet your boots some balls sailed in from left field and many realities of parenting surprised me. But while it was all new, I still felt like a mom with a tiny clue thanks to the plethora of helpful resources available.
The highs and lows of parenting itty bitty wee-watts may have reached deeper and further than I imagined, but helpful tools did as well. Family, friends, Moms Clubs, MOPS groups and miles of parenting books all succeeded in showing me What to Expect from before infancy right on through the preschool years.
But once my cherubs reached school age? Things became a lot more silent just as I became a lot more unsure of what in the Sam Hill I was doing.
Those bookshelves holding miles of books? Empty.
Those tween parenting support groups? Virtually nonexistent.
Sure, I have a most fantastic posse of mom friends whom I don’t mind asking for help. I’m not one to stumble in the dark if there is a light that works, and these friends are definitely a guiding light. But sometimes I want that light to work in the dead of night when the friends are in bed but my questions keep me wide awake. I want practical help inspired by Biblical truth.
So, I’d like to take this week to tackle issues unique to these growing-up years as well as writing about some tried and true principals that have worked with my own tweens. Also? Other super smart Mamas {who happen to also be crazy talented writers and bloggers} will chip in their 2 cents.
BUT…
I need you, you beautiful, in-the-trenches Mamas, to share your thoughts, too. If you’re a Mama of teens, I’d love to hear your been-there-done-that wisdom. If you’re a Mama of preschoolers, I want to know what concerns you have for when your little kids become big kids. And if you’re a Mama of tweens like me, I definitely want to know how you’ve handled challenges and what resources you’ve used to do so.
If you don’t have young’uns of your own, maybe you still hang out with some. And I assume you were once a tween yourself? What valuable insights can you offer?
Let’s work together to encourage one another during these inbetween parenting years!
Tomorrow, one savvy, gorgeous Mama {who is also one of my favorite writers on God’s green earth} shares her favorite resource for making it through the tween years. Will you join the conversation and share yours, too?
Megan Willome says
My kids are 12 and 15. You’re right. No one writes about this age because no one knows what the heck they’re doing. It gets so much harder. And Facebook has screwed everything up because I can’t really write about my kids anymore, knowing that they have an online presence.
I got here through Deidra. I’ll be back!
Kristen says
Megan, I believe my guest author tomorrow will be discussing how to balance public writing with our kids’ privacy. It is a tricky dance, isn’t it? Thank you so much for stopping by today…
Lollie says
I have 5 children. My oldest 2 being boys ages 14 and 12. So I’m right there with ya! My oldest girl is turning 11 this summer. So she’s entering the trenches too. I had my boys read the book “Do Hard Things” by the Harris brothers. There are days when I see the glimmer of light shining through and I can hear the angels singing “Hallelujah”. Then the next day it all smashes to the ground and I wonder “Did you remember anything I taught you? Or am I wasting my time?” But then I have to laugh at myself and get some perspective because I’m certian that God has these same moments with me! Actually God has taught me so much about my own sin nature through my kids. In those stressful trying moments I get to see my heart revealed. And as much as inside I want to see their hearts grow and molded to God’s, sometimes I just care about the outside and I just want “good behavior”! The only tried and true thing that really works for me is CONSTANT PRAYER:) Sometimes I’m at a loss for what to do, so I pray. He always gives me good ideas. And their Dad is amazing, being that he WAS a young boy once. He has a totally different view than me. It’s funny I sometimes think “Oh honey you’re being to hard on them. Do they have to pack all that wood to the shoot and stack it too?” He says “This is nothing, my brother and I were younger than these guys, we use to have to put wood on a sled and pull it all they way back to the house. And we had to make lots of trips because we were to small to carry a lot much” Physical work is really good for boys. And he’s their Dad so I don’t say anything else:) Then in the house we have chores. My Hubby says I’m too easy on them I can give them more work. For me it’s finding a balance between what I “think” they can do and what they can actually do. For sibling fights I make them sit on a step and hold hands until they settle it. (this doesn’t always work but for the most part it does). This works especially well for the boys since they don’t want to be sitting there too long holding hands:) For someone being mean or calling names they have to do all the chores for that person that day, or if it’s already done the next day. For my oldest I found that he really didn’t mind the extra chores. So for any name calling he did I him had to pay me a dollar each time he called someone a name. I made $4 that day, and now he’s stopped;) There are always things that we thought we dealt with that pop back up again. But then again that happens in me too. I’m learning to give them some room, not to let it slide, consequences are how we learn, but not to be so angry and frustrated when they slip up(that is hard). There is also the emotional ups and downs of this age. YIKES! That can be hard to navigate. But I find if I just calmly (I usually need to pray quick) encourage them that it’s normal to feel out of sorts sometimes, but what I do when I feel this way is I go spend some quiet time with God. And I get them to open their bible on their bed, usually to the Proverb of the day(if its’ the 19th then prov.19:). Sometimes they don’t feel like it so I don’t force them, I will suggest listening to some praise music or listening to an Adventure in Odyssey story. Most of the time this settles their emotions and MINE:) Wow! I have rambled away at you! Sorry. This is a great topic!
Kristen says
Lollie, you offer a gold mine of ideas here. Thanks so much for sharing! I love the Proverbs day-of-the-month reading idea! Fantastic! Have you heard of the devotional Jesus Calling by Sarah Young?? My boys just love it.