When a Recovering Bossoholic Needs to Be Out of Control

 

Five bowls of apple pie with ice cream sit waiting to be gobbled, but only two people fill chairs behind them. I tell my man and my up-and-coming men their pie is ready, and they reply they’ll be right there after they finish the Wii baseball game.

So after a while my girl and I eat our flaky pie with ice cream and I look at the boys’ bowls to see flaky-less pie in a moat of melting ice cream. I open my mouth to call them again and then close it tight because HELLO? I’ve already made the announcement and do I really need to micromanage their pie and ice cream eating? Especially my husband’s? I think not.

I managed to keep my thoughts to myself, but this recovering bossoholic often does just the opposite. My heart flashes its condition in neon when I spew selfish words. I flat out hate it when that happens. I don’t want my man to long for a roof corner somewhere, even though I’ve logged some serious nagging hours that caused him to consider packing up some suitcases.

Nagging is just criticism in an ugly dress, and {as a wise friend once told me} criticism is the anti-viagra.

Well then.

I know this, but I need God to sear the message in my heart. He tells me over and over {cuz I’m slow and need it over and over}:

“When you devote your time and energy to what I’ve entrusted to you, you have all you need to make it through the day. When you expend that energy inappropriately, you tucker out fast. Don’t assume you know what’s best. I act from the full picture perspective, you react from a sliver of it.”

Ah yes, I have post graduate degrees in reacting.

I am a work-in-progress who has to learn feeling out of control is sometimes a good thing. When it comes to matters of bossin’ my man, I need to be out of control, not out to control. Trying to control wipes out precious time and energy needed elsewhere, not to mention his warm fuzzies towards me. And here’s another news flash for my try-again heart: I’m not always right, not by a long shot. After all, how can I possibly be right when I only have a sliver of the big picture?

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