It’s been one of those weeks that flew in a blur, scenes whirling by as if I’m watching them from the passenger side of a fast moving car. But at the same time, I am bone tired, like I’ve been running next to the car rather than sitting inside it.
Has it been one of those weeks for you, too?
Actually, it’s been quite the month ’round here. I’ve got to slow down and catch my breath, so naturally I chose you favorite folks to slow down with. Do you mind if I sit here a second and share some things with you? I promise I won’t take all day to do so. Think of it as me sending you a postcard (or four) with words scrawled out about what’s going on and what has me in such a state of constant motion.
As you may already know, I’ve been running forward with book business, although much of that has been so so fun! But part of it has been tricky, too. I did round 2 and round 3 of edits this month, and with each passing round I start to question things, things like:
Did I choose the best way to make that point?
What could I have written better? Written differently?
Who might be mad at me because I mention their name in the book?
Who might be mad at me because I didn’t mention their name in the book?
I make myself crazy.
But then I remember it was written the way it was supposed to be written when it was written, and at some point I have to lean back and let that baby bird fly. She’s not totally there yet, but she is certainly peeking over the edge of her nest preparing to do so.
I’ve been running because of parenting things, and let me tell you something that still surprises me as I mother big kids: they require a surplus of energy in a whole new way from mothering littles. Little ones require a lot of energy…a lot of energy. I do remember. But the business of changing diapers and being a short order cook and playing 27 games of Candyland in a row requires a different reserve of energy than parenting does when your precious kiddo wants to do things like have regular heart-to-hearts at 10:30pm.
It requires a deeper kind of presence.
And ya, we’ve had lots of heart-to-hearts lately. This is a good thing, of course, and I wouldn’t change their willingness to talk with me for the world. The deeper presence they need from me yields deeper blessings too, and I’m thankful for each one–even if it means I yawn more the next morning.
I have been running because the 3rd quarter of school for the kids is chock-full of crazy, and it seems like their every project and big paper has been due this month. So I hear lots of Mom! Can you proofread this paper for me? Mom! Can you tell me if I worded this right? Mom! I need more poster board! But they’re making it through, thank you Jesus. We all are.
I have been running, too, because my daddy is worsening day my day, and that weighs me down as I try to keep pace.
But you know what else? I’m also running toward a little spring break vacation with my family. So for the next couple weeks, my presence here will be rather sparse as I take a little time to enjoy my people. With two of my three in high school, I find myself counting up our remaining spring breaks and summer vacations like the number of sleeps before a big event. Gracious, there aren’t too many of them left now.
But before I head out the door, I just want to grab your hand and tell you–beautiful you!–thank you for being all kinds of supportive and wonderful to me this month and always. I will tell you that as I wrote of this community in the acknowledgements portion of my book, I couldn’t help but tear up. You have been neighbors and friends who bring over delicious casseroles of words and encouragement, and I have gobbled up every single bite. Your words matter to me…you matter to me. Thank you for being heaven’s grace to my heart. I pray that as you have generously given, may you abundantly receive.
Have a wonderful first-day-of-spring, friends. Much love to you and yours. xo