From time to time I ramble on here or at (in)courage about some aspect of friendship. And no sooner do my fingers tap out the final words of the post that I find my feelings hurt over the very same friendship issue I’ve written about. {Am I the only one who is often tested on the very thing I’m trying to work out?} As I massage my hurt ego or stepped-on toes, my inner sassy voice asks me point blank,
“So, you gonna practice whatcha preach or what?”
I stick my tongue out at this voice because sometimes?
Sometimes, I want to wallow in the hurt.
Sometimes, I want to only love the easy people.
Sometimes I want to tweak Scripture just a bit to say “Love your {kind, darling, lovely} neighbor as yourself.”
But nothing of quality is gained in that kind of living, so I lay my head back, close my eyes, and whisper prayer-reminders. I pray I live a true-blue life, not only as a friend but as a daughter, wife, mother, and sister.
Dear Father in Heaven,
I’m still learning the best way to be a friend to anyone – lovely or unlovely – is to make less of me.
Help me live this out, Lord.
Help me:
~Have the security to lead her into the spotlight as I step into the shadows.
~Be a breeze blowing wind into her sails rather than a hurricane tearing down her soul.
~More readily cheer than criticize, compliment than complain.
~Encourage her strengths and not be scared by her weaknesses.
~Insist on a spirit of completion rather than competition to enter our relationship.
~Log in more practice time listening than talking, loving than judging.
~Move my agendas to the back burner and make Your agenda my own.
And Lord, when living this out gets tough, may I wallow in the Word rather than wounds because You bind up all the seen and unseen hurts.
With all in my circle of influence, may my knee-jerk reaction come from a place of Grace.
Thank you for loving me in the learning and growing.
In Jesus name,
{And all the sometimes un-kind, un-darling, un-lovely girls say}
Amen
I love you, sisters. May your day be full of appreciation for the lovely and grace for the unlovely.
**second photo of myself and the *always* lovely Amber Haines.
Want more encouragement on this topic of friendship? Check out these posts here:
What to Do When You’re Waiting on Friendships
For When You’re Tired from Trying to Make Friends
Friendship: When You’re Not the New Girl in Town
The Best Thing You Can Do Today
25 Ways to Be a {Lovely, Appreciated, Bomb Diggedy} Friend
Where you have a strength, the enemy attacks & tries to turn it into a weakness…so you second-guess yourself. There is a beautiful young lady who serves, loves, and gives over & above most – but she gets the most customer grief at her work…more than anyone I know! The enemy is constantly on the prowl to wear her down and make her believe she’s as rotten as some of the people who come through her store tell her. But I know nobody who smiles more and bends over backwards more for people who come across her path – including at her store.
I bet you’re an exceptional servant friend to those around you. Yes, God is always honing our character, but you ARE.
Maybe I missed the mark, but felt like I needed to encourage that amazing-ness in you.
“Where you have a strength, the enemy attacks & tries to turn it into a weakness” ~ ain’t that the truth, Christy?
And thank you for the encouragement, Christy. Really.
This prayer wrecked me! It’s beautiful! I do struggle in the friendship department quite often. I tend to be that loyal to a fault friend. So many of my friends aren’t the most aware. I feel as though they take me for granted at times b/c I am always there regardless of how I feel that I’m being treated. I have no idea if this makes any sense or not… I just want The Lord to move me past my emotions into unconditional love despite my friends’ response. I don’t want to carry around bitterness or resentment or anger.
Those lines at the end of your comment? Really beautiful. They’re my prayer, too.
I totally adore you, K! Totally, totally, totally! So glad to *know* your heart through words He prompts you to write. {hugs}
(and this picture is absolutely stunning!)
Right backatcha, Amy. Thankful for you!
Practice what we preach. Oh, if only it were that simple. This is a lovely post, Kristen, and as always I value your vulnerability. I can relate in deep and shameful ways. 🙂 I’m leading a Bible study on friendship at our church right now, actually. I think I’ll share this with my small group. Blessings to you and your family!
I’m so grateful for you and your friendship, Kristen. Missing you wildly and loving you with all my heart!
Oh yes, often get tested on the very thing I’m writing about, especially when I think I’ve overcome. Humbling! I so want to be like Jesus, and I’m so not. But He’s not finished with us yet!! Beautiful!