I recognize it, the umpteenth verse of that same old song. The kids go to bed late, I go to bed later. They wake up early, I wake up cranky. {And while we’re on the subject, would someone please tell me when almost-teenagers start sleeping in, anyway?}
The questions come rapid fire on this snow day. “Can Bella come over? When will my Netflix Barbie movie arrive? Can I play on the computer? What can I have for breakfast?” I’m bleary eyed, trying to hide my irritation. It doesn’t work. I spew words laced with vinegar, and in a couple sentences I stomp all over the 1 Corinthians 13 love chapter.
Once again I behave like love is all about taking. I’ll take not being at someone’s beck and call. I’ll take a little peace and quiet. I’ll take some tea. And I’ll take it all right this second, thankyouverymuch.
And while we’re at it, I’ll just be annoyed that my kids are behaving like, you know, kids.
Sometime later, I get out my Bible and look up that same 1 Corinthians chapter. I read:
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
1 Corinthians 13:1-3
Sometimes I make enough cymbal noise for an entire marching band. I get into trouble when I show entitlement rather than love. I get myself into trouble when I forget to look at my children’s faces and see Jesus.
The absence of love clangs noisy selfishness, but thankfully the presence of love covers a multitude of sins. It’s never too late to make the right kind of music. So out of love I put my hands around their sweet faces, look them in their eyes and say, “I’m so sorry. Will you forgive me?”
And out of love, they always do.
A little while back I wrote this and this, two posts that help me clang less and love more. Below are excerpts from both those posts, and they are available as free downloads.
Merry Christmas, darlings! 🙂
Prayer for the Strong Willed Child {and His Weak Mama}
Oh Father,
Thank you for this treasure-child, this grace-teacher who keeps me humble. You know the good and hard stuff that comes with raising him, and how I fret over feeling ill equipped. Help me remember I have your easy yoke and light burden to lean on and learn from, and that You spill overflowing grace all over my parenting gaps.
Help him see the behavior in me I want to see in him. His eagle eyes see and hear my actions most. When he pushes boundaries and argues limits, give me your supernatural ability to make the situation better, not worse. Don’t let me fuel the storm with hot-tempered, windy words. May I diffuse the unstable air with words and behavior that define grace and peace. Make me a gentle wind that blows him towards You.
Open my eyes to those times he genuinely needs more room to test his wings. Make me see the difference between downright disrespect that needs correcting and reigns that need loosening.
Help me see the sneaky, ugly roots of pride growing so I may yank them out at the roots.
Help me see past the tough exterior to the insecure interior and build him up with the best tool around: your Word. Help me seal the cracks by freely and generously lending love so I represent You well. Show me how to mold his passion into faith that moves mountains.
May his strong-willed bent lend itself to a firm foundation built on nothing but Christ.
Turn to dust and windblown chaff anything standing in the way of a full and healthy relationship with You. Give me wisdom on how to build up – not break down – our relationship. I am weak, but You are strong. Carry us both today and always.
In the mighty name of Jesus,
{And all the mamas of strong willed babies said}
Amen
Click here to download a free printable of the above Prayer for the Strong Willed Child
When You Want to Breathe Fresh-Air Life Into Your Young’uns
I will hug them first thing.
{Because the Lord’s compassions never fail and His mercies are new each morning! Lamentations 3:22-23}
I will look them in the eyes when they speak to me and I speak to them.
{I always have His full attention! Psalm 3:4, 62:8}
I will tell them mistakes ARE allowed.
{Because the expectation of perfection leads to devastation. If God expected perfection, He wouldn’t have given us Jesus. Hebrews 10:14}
I will not wait to tell them, “I am sorry.”
{Because these three words model humility and wipe out egg-shell walking. Acts 3:19}
I will ask them their highs and lows of each day.
{Both are opportunities to offer prayer and show gratitude! Philippians 4:6}
I will remind them they are a treasured possession.
{Because we are His! Deuteronomy 26:18}
I will create family “inside” jokes.
{Because laughter heals and I want them to enjoy home! Proverbs 17:22}
I will call them affirming nick names and pet names.
{Because it helps seal their identity as a part of my family! And we are all a part of His! Romans 11:17}
I will pray my gratitude for them out loud.
{Because every gift is from God and they should know they are a gift! James 1:17}
I will end the day with “I love you” and “I’m proud of you.”
{Because ending on a good note cancels earlier bad ones and sets the stage for a fresh start tomorrow. Ephesians 4:26-27}
We all have days like that, huh??? Very good stuff to remember! Thanks for the reminders!
Mama said there would be days like that, right? Right? xoxo
Oh, appreciate this much!! Thank you and grace to you…there are those days..
And grace to you, too, Daniele!
Teenagers start sleeping in when it’s time to mow the grass or do chores inside the house. 🙂
Good point, Cindy! These kids *do* have chores, but maybe not enough?
There are not enough words to say just how much I loved this. Thank you.
Thank you, Sarah!
Oh Kristen, I’m crying as I read your post today. Thank you, sister. I’ve been setting boundaries for my tween all week, and this mom is WORN OUT. Your words helped me remember to “see Jesus” in my child’s face. That I am not perfect, but I can point my kids to the one who is, then fall in exhaustion at His feet myself.
Thank you!
The is beautiful. You have truely been touched by the Holy Spirit in writing this. Merry Christmas, and Peace in your sweet family.
Oh Kristen. I hear you SO LOUD here. If only I came through this oh-so-common experience with beautiful words like this. Thank you, for something to think about – and to print out!!
Kristen. I love these, printed them off and prayed them on the way to work (reading at stops of course!). Wonderful!