My windows run liquid as the rain pours, and inch by inch, the water levels of Colorado Springs exit the drought stage – or at least think about exiting.
At any rate, the rain drenches this high desert town in clean relief.
I’m doing my best to let the soothing water refresh my spirit, too, but all I can think about is how her words uttered moments ago dried it right up. She asked how the writing was going, and I answered truthfully. “It’s good, just in a season of working and waiting.” She listened well, then ever so slightly raises her eyebrows before saying,
“Well,” shoulders shrug. “Maybe it’ll work out for you.”
Skepticism peeked out from behind the words, but it made a complete appearance with her little tag ending:
“Just don’t get your hopes up.”
My mood slides down with the rain.
She only said what we’ve all heard and maybe uttered ourselves {including me}, but only recently I discovered why it stings so much. First of all, if we are working on something, praying for a change, or exploring something new, our hopes are already up. Otherwise, why would we bother? But there’s more. The phrase don’t get your hopes up flies past all the clichés – all the knocking wind out of sails – as it gives the listener a second sucker punch. When someone tells you not to get your hopes up, they’re also saying because mine sure aren’t.
And this strikes a chord in our heart that slides the notes of an already wobbly tune into a puddled mess.
I know a lot of folks – and sometimes us mamas – say this to be protective, to prepare the other person for the possibility of things not going the way she wants. And of course we need to always be in tune with a healthy dose of realism. But telling her not to get her hopes up never changes the outcome. It only changes how she views the person saying it.
In its truest form, hope is not something that goes up or down but Someone we hold onto, and our hopes should always be sky high in Him.
Getting your hopes up doesn’t mean everything will turn out the way you hope or believe, it means believing Hope will work everything out the way He means. So if you’re reaching for something new today or laboring along as you work and wait, by all means get your hopes up. By all means hold onto Hope. God has amazing, life-changing things in store for you, and there’s always reason to hope He is designing a new best thing on your horizon.
By evening, the clouds clear and sunshine washes over the mountains and trees. I look up and find an unmistakeable sign that Hope is here.
And on the rise.
{Care to share your wisdom? Click here to comment.}
Oh girl! A. Men. Why do we do this to ourselves and each other??? I’m removing this phrase and all it’s inbred cousins from my vocabulary.
Me too love. Me too.
Inbred cousins are always causing trouble and never look just right do they? 😉
Kristen,
Been there…heard that…and you’re right it sucks the life right out of you! Thanks for the reminder that my hope can be sky high so long as my hope is in Him! Great post!
Love you girl,
Bev
Thank you, Bev. I love you.
I remember I used to say this to myself and others until I learned God DOES want me to get my hopes up. It means I am asking Him, believing in Him, and even if the answer is no, at least I put my faith and hope in Him. I love this!
God DOES want me to get my hopes up. Ain’t that the truth? Just love that, Angela.
How is it that the Holy Spirit speaks through your post so poigniantly.I have this rotating table top calendar I call my Mother Calendar.It says “The pot boils whether you watch it or not.It’s silly to focus your attention where it will have no impact!”Yes we could write a book or two! And many have told me to(perhaps someone could adviae me cuz I have a few hopefully heartwarming and interesting OMG life heart string years of tears with hurting eposodes & moments)¦ Here I am in a terrible mother situation but different stage still pullong on my heartstrings about a grown over 20 s adult child not approving of her life choices socially morally or decision to let go of a rewarding carreer she just graduated in a BSc.degree from less than 2 years ago.Immediatly I turn this inward Lord how can I being new here with no real solid developed fellowships yet or work in my field from my home with children or adults? Or how can I now make friends intimately I am devasted and humiliated telling myself to stand strong be both the mother and father giving my love my concern and finally disapproval.Yet my Christian training says this the work of spiritual warfare!!! Do not let the disheartened feeling like the overcast grey skies today spiral you downwards. YOU ARE A NEW CREATION:)and I do not just say that but also feel it confidently. These reactions these thought of mine are also for her we need to speak face to face so we can talk equally as adults and I can listen with my mothers heart:expressing them (“.Do not give the devil a place! “my Christian site said when doing spiritual warfare as I looked on You tube 100 Huntley St on Armed and Anchored. I will not fault myself as a person a parent a mother. I am better than that and know better through Him in his new covenant:) I said my peace but wanted to speak in person face to face keeping doors open.This is my lastborn who I cherish dearly for many personal & health reasons to bring life to her and heal my bleeding body then.How can this be I say? Had I been too loving and accepting. As culture here in BC Gulf Islands is very different and more liberal some islands govern themselves where she lives some are off the grid where she lives some authorities look the other way where she is. All I could do my best was stay lovingly connected & finally move almost 1500 miles closer.I keep thinking was this all the result of a one parent family? Or those she choose to associate with befriended here as a 17 yr.old University student in the open free world.She is my hugger my baby and I do not want to let go ever again! Too much battle was overcome to stay alive to have her born and too much battle was to have her custody and too many scars on my body to have her ripped away in what I thought was a resolved court seperation agreement .And then again when pulling my career myself together another battle of letting her go in another
attempt with her father who traded our family in wanting to dispose of her mother only to mediate to see 2 have my daughter back home with me her own mother rightfully . But no the devil is never satisfied! He wants it all your child your life your possesions your health your home your family your soul this I know too well and O and my wisdom experience says there is more to this do not fret react. I am tearful now as I write this post.When All I desire in Him is for my family and us reunited to be having happy times and family meals breaking bread.She did not show up:(I had to speak by text and when I bravely called to say my peace that I wanted her to stop this immoral dangerous activity putting it differently. She said she was old enough and stop lecturing. Someway rather than go there to her island and the desire to drag her away my wisdom says let her come to you and i ( notice the humble small ‘i’) just keep inviting her to be with me mayb go camping come be with your mum no money no job no property whatever she whatever your triing to accomplish is worth loosing your soul.Meanwhile I and us all must stay focused on the good of our hopes our dreams in what is noble pure praiseworthy knowledgeable of our energies. My Mother Calendar of wise words says:” Telephones just won’t do for some mother daughter conversations.Mothers also listen with their hearts.”
My typing apologies do not fret OR react! Be Anchored and Armed another post from a fb Pastor friend in Canada had a good one for parents with kids sending them every which way especially holiday wind down at home managing a staycation. It was from something called Stuck on You:) When kids do not listen and your yelling! > go to the bathroom> go etc.lol
I don’t know if we ever realized the importance of Hope ( my one word for the year), how very foundational it is to our lives. I love this post.
You ate so right. I’ve said it, had it said to me, but never really sat and thought about the implications. We do that a lot, don’t we? At least I know I do. What a great piece of writing to put Hope in its proper place. This seems to be working out just fine for you. BTW – I heard those words in my mom’s voice when I read them. I bet many others did, too. Big wake up call for me as the momma now.
You made me see those words in a whole new light. Thanks for sharing. I will be a lot more careful what I say and how I say it. God is our hope.
Hi, keep waiting and writing and being truthful. Sometimes an honest response, like yours, especially when we are waiting within our destiny, can cause a stir in another person. The hard part is what you described, that sucky ouch feeling. Forgiving and holding onto hope in the midst of it is the best response. I appreciate you. Kelly from Canada
I am sorry to hear of flooding of Colorado Springs I just read in newspaper.But the good news is here I am witnessing my grand-daughter and mom canoeing right in this amazing University city on a lake called Long Lake with all the amenities, where there is a rowing club.Which are scholorship endorsed throughout the States and Canada if you love water sport. Great for boys, and girls are now the leading interest for University competive recruiting in scholarships.Competetive or not it is a great activity in temperate weather zones like here in VI /BC eh on this island.This is the hope that was in my dream and here my family finally are triing it! Who knows next I may get my 25 meters swim back in recovery of my physical pain.As only almost 2 yr. ago I swam 40 lengths. Someone said it was equivelant to a kilometer. We are so blessed a nation to be free to turn our upside down days into other ways.
No wisdom to share, Just a thank you to sweet Kristen! My OUTLOOK was not working yesterday and a message was sitting in my outbox most of the day. It wasn’t meant to be seen by the recipient. I read your message and deleted mine to the sender. I saw the potential of deflating that individual. Choosing words more carefully today. Love you!
Thank you, poets and writers, for sharing your talent to communicate things so beautifully.