I chatted on the phone with a friend not long ago, and we swapped snapshots of what’s going on in our lives. After sharing how the spouses, kids, and jobs were getting along, this friend asked me those four plain but powerful words: “How are you doing?” And because she isn’t interested in over-sifted I’m fine! answers, I knew she wouldn’t settle for less than total honesty.
So I told her the straight up truth: “I feel endlessly tired, ridiculously so. And really, I’ve been saying this for a long time. Why can’t I just snap out of it?”
She asked me to tell her more, so I said: “Ya know, I have several hard things coming at me from different angles, and many of them just aren’t going away. I’m realizing that the lingering is just a fact of life. I don’t anticipate the weight lifting anytime soon, and I’m worn out from the load.”
She warmly listened as she always does, agreeing with me that given all this, I had good reason to be tired.
And that’s when I noticed my tears slipping south.
Oh, what a kindness it is to have someone listen to you and say, “You know, given all that, you have good reason to feel the way you do.”
What a relief it is to find a heart advocate who hears you, who validates what you’re feeling.
Let me tell you, I don’t generally say these kinds of things to myself. Instead, I say things like, Okay, so these things aren’t taking a permanent vacation anytime soon and you’re tired. So what? Nobody cares that you have 3 teenagers in your house and you’re busy and have a lot on your plate. Countless others are dealing with countless more. You need to get a grip, lady, and get it yesterday.
Do you also have an inner critic who is never too tired for a tongue-lashing?